Capsule for the Day
Telling My Story, Part 2
Another way I deal with hurt is to seek help. Sometimes, our willfulness deceives us. We think we can heal our pain; we can deal with our hurt all by ourselves. I found this attitude very dangerous. It is an attitude of one who is not ready to be healed. Hurt is real. It takes one who is real and humble to be healed of it. So, I admit I can't do it alone. I need help.
Whenever I get to this point, I have noticed, I feel happier and free of bitterness. It is like scales have fallen off my eyes and I can see; I can find the help I need. The temptation at this stage is to seek the help I want, the help that suits me. "Unfortunately", my spiritual director said, "this kind of help enables the hurting... Don't go there, Francis. It hurts."
So, I have one real option left, "the help I need". It takes a lot of humility to accept it. Pride wouldn't let me. "You mean you want to admit you were wrong? Don't apologise. You were right?" It is always a struggle. I wrestle with letting go of my pride. But I get healed when I discern with my spiritual director what God is asking of me for true peace.
Fr. Francis Afu